10 tips to up your flirtation game and own your cosmic coquette

Libra is the flirtiest archetype of the zodiac- ruled by Venus, the planet of love, beauty and aesthetics -they just seem to know how to walk confidently in the realm of relationships and romance. This mixed with their innate love of language and diplomacy usually means they also know how to charm anyone.

It's why I refer to the Libra archetype as the Cosmic Coquette. And, no matter your sign or your birth chart, we can all use Libra season to get a cosmic refresher and reap the power of this energy.

As the cardinal air sign, Libra shows us how flirting can make life SO MUCH FUN by adding fresh oxygen to our day to day interactions. Flirting can be sexual, yes, a time-honored way of sending out

~ the vibes ~ that there is an interest in intimacy, or it can also be a way of connecting to another human in a way that makes you feel alive and inspired.

Whether it's in-person or over text, new studies show that flirting can be good for your mental health because it boosts self-esteem and confidence while reducing stress and increasing communication skills. Plus, it helps you feel sexier which I am always here for.

But how do we flirt in a way that feels natural to ourselves and others? Flirting gets a bad rap for being superficial – because, of course, it can be. Flirting is not about lines, moves or having “game”. It is about playfulness, authenticity and cultivating enough awareness to have a real connection.

Here are 10 tips to help you get started doing just that this Libra season:

1. "Hey” is for horses.

According to the dating app, Jigtalk, ‘hey’ is the most common opening line on apps- but also gets the least responses. Whether it's online or IRL, this one word opener is pretty weak. If you're flirting on an app, it’s recommended to personalize your message towards something in the person’s bio which shows you actually liked them for their profile and aren't just spamming every person on the app. Same goes for in person- asking a question or beginning with an opening line that shows you are actually paying attention will get, well, their attention. It also invites a response- unlike that other “horse food” word.

2. Make eye contact.

This is number one for a reason. This simple yet powerful technique is one of the most important keys of flirting. Looking someone in the eye is a great way to let them know you're not only interested in them, but the conversation they bring to the table. Deep down, we all want to be seen, so someone making eye contact with us can be deeply captivating and validating.

Not sure how to do it? Just look at the person—not in some artificial goofy come hither, bashful cartoon way—but in a way that feels natural and organic. Don't overthink it.

3. Don’t be afraid to use humor.

Everything from cracking jokes by not taking yourself so seriously or quoting The Office are ways to loosen the tension that comes with getting to know a new person. Especially if something goes wrong (you have food in your teeth or the Wifi is being glitchy on a Zoom call)- laughing it off can melt away any awkwardness. Awkwardness is just part of being human- it’s up to you to transmute it into awesomeness :) Also, it may help you find common ground and before you know it, you are both deciding who your favorite Dunder Mifflin employee is.

4. Offer a genuine compliment.

Who doesn’t like to receive a compliment? Just make sure it’s sincere and specific- no generic quips like “you look nice.” See if you can find something more unique and heartfelt- and it’s always a safe bet to not lead with compliments about physical appearance in regards to their body. See if there’s something you think is adorable or charming about them- their shoes, their laugh, their personal style, their freckles- and tell them. Who doesn't love a little flattery?

5. Smile!

When in doubt, flash those pearly whites. It’s crazy how smiling can light up your face. Ever have someone smile at you and it just makes your tummy flip? Yup, a smile is like turning your inner sunshine on in someone's direction- they can’t help but feel special. Also, smiling sends a signal to your brain that all is groovy- which is always a bonus for flirting with confidence.

6. Know your “type.”

No, not that type. I'm talking about knowing what type of flirting comes the most naturally to you. Are you a physical flirt who lets your body do the talking- throwing your head back with laughter, mirroring their movements or (respectfully) touching someone's arm? Or are you the sapoiosexual type who loves the thrill of banter and exchange of witty intellect? Are you the sincere flirt who might find authentic connection from finding common ground like commenting on a book someone is reading that you just recently finished? It's fun to experiment with new styles, but knowing what type fits you best may help you better understand how to begin to tap into your cosmic coquette.

7. Ask questions.

Interested people are interesting people, point blank period. Struggling with what to say or palms getting sweaty? Ask a question… play journalist. Open-ended questions are a great way to get to know someone by showing interest in an authentic way. Just be sure to repeat back some of what you are hearing to show you are really listening or be open to answering questions of your own so you don’t seem like you are pulling a Law and Order-style cross-examination.

8. Be willing to make the first move.

Sacred action is sexy. Many people think that making the first move has to be big, like asking someone for their number or going in for physical contact. On the contrary, it can be as subtle as asking someone for the time to open the lines of communication and see what they do once the ball is in their court. Or sometimes it may even be that eye contact again with a little sparkle in the eye and wave of the hand.

9. Pay attention to the other person's cues.

Effective flirting requires awareness of the other person’s responses. If they seem engaged and responsive, you’re likely on the right track. However, if they seem disinterested or uncomfortable, it’s important to respect their space and adjust your approach accordingly. Flirting should be enjoyable for both parties. If you sense that the other person isn’t reciprocating or seems uncomfortable, it’s crucial to back off gracefully. Respect their boundaries and remember that not every interaction will lead to a connection, and that’s perfectly okay.

10. Remember that authenticity is magic.

Does batting your eyelashes make you feel like you're having an eye spasm? Then don't do it. Does coming on strong make you feel weak in the knees? Then please pass. Rather than adopting a persona you think might be appealing, focus on being yourself. Genuine interest and enthusiasm are far more attractive than trying too hard to impress. If you’re sincere, your confidence will shine through, making your interactions more engaging.

Flirting is so personal. There's no one way to flirt that's going to work for everybody and on everybody. The real key here is to be at ease and as natural as you can be, and then to focus on how you can show this person that you think they're interesting and you want to get to know them. It's as simple as that.

And have fun with it! Play with these tips and make them your own. Flirting can and should be fun for both of you, so lean into play and try not to take it too seriously.