How Sex Toys Can Strengthen Long Distance Relationships

Keeping the spark alive can be challenging when you and your partner are separated by miles. Back in the day, couples in long-distance relationships maintained intimacy by writing letters or calling on the phone. But these days, technology has given us the gift of connecting physically and spicing things up with sex toys. 

LELO Sexpert, Licensed Psychologist & Certified Sex Therapist, Dr. Laurie Mintz shares, “Long distance couples shouldn’t have to wait for their time together in person to have exciting sexual encounters and sex toys can help keep sex novel and exciting when apart (as well as when together, of course)! 

Sex toys will keep the spark alive when not physically together. Additionally, using them in a long-distance relationship can enhance communication and intimacy. As with any type of sex (long-distance or in person), it’s best to communicate about sex before, during and after—and incorporating a sex toy will inspire you to do just that.”

Not seeing each other can be tricky, but with the help of pleasure products, we found some loopholes that’ll keep things hot, no matter the distance. 

Virtual mutual masturbation

Although there are plenty of high-tech sex toys with a bevy of features for x-rated playtime, if you want to use the toys you already have, you can do so by having a sexy FaceTime session. Set the mood with music, candles, and dim lighting; you can even wear lingerie or a silky robe. 

“After connecting on a video platform, each partner can take turns pleasuring themselves with a toy while the other partner watches and gets aroused and excited. The partner pleasuring themselves can also narrate the experience for added excitement (“Oh, I am getting so wet. I am pretending this vibrator touching my clit is your hands.”) 

Or, for the kinkier couple, the person who is watching can make suggestions and directions (“Now take the toy and touch your clitoris”; “Turn up the speed.”) and even play with orgasm denial (i.e., when you notice your partner is getting close, say, “Stop touching yourself until I say so.”).

 People with vulvas can use vibrators, dildos, and air suction toys, while penis owners can explore strokers, both manual and electronic. You can make eye contact, but if you want a little more visual stimulation, don’t be afraid to get frisky and move the camera a bit further south.

Bluetooth-enabled sex toys for interactive action

Thanks to teledildonics (yes, that’s the actual word for long-distance sex toys) entering the mainstream there’s no shortage of Bluetooth-enabled, app-controlled toys that allow your partner to control your pleasure remotely from the other side of the world. Lovense, WeVibe, LELO, OhMiBod and Kiiroo are all options with reliable connectivity that can be bought at trusted retailers like Babeland and Good Vibes. 

While you can have special time together during a FaceTime or phone call, many of these toys are also wearable and can create exciting new possibilities for public play. Say you’re at the grocery store or out at a party wearing one of these toys - when you least expect it, your partner can trigger vibrations to let you know they’re thinking about you, making you weak in the knees.

The ultimate gift

Jewelry and flowers are nice, but there’s nothing like a sex toy gift to take things to the next level. Of course, you should make sure that the toy is something that your partner is actually interested in trying and isn’t just fulfilling your own fantasies, so communication is key. Surprises are nice in theory, but talking about what they actually want beforehand is helpful in this case.  While you can gift one of the fancier vibes or strokers from the brands mentioned above,  you can also gift them something more approachable, like a vibrator, wand, or Fleshlight that you can watch them use during your online dates.

Mention them in spicy voice notes

Sexting is an oldie but a goodie when distance is keeping you apart. Still, voice notes let you practice your sexy voice, getting breathy as you tell them what you’d like to do to them with your favorite toy (or what you; 'd like to see them do to themselves). You can follow up on that promise later on but think of this as an extended foreplay session until the next time you talk. 

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